Fighting Silent Battles.

Referring to the article we wrote last week, we thought it is imperative to also discuss the possible ways (at least some ways that seem to have worked for us….and of course, research) to go through the open struggle. 

People generally turn to unhealthy methods of coping to get through distress, especially at times when they might not be feeling supported (and yes, we’re talking about alcohol, among many many other examples). The point is, that simply talking about these issues doesn’t help. We need possible means to cope with those feelings. Personally, what helps me through a hard time is music, a long walk outside, or, if you’re fortunate enough to have friends, just a long ranting session. 

And this blog would obviously not be complete without some methods that are backed up by research evidence (duh). Generally, if someone lacks social support, they can consider joining support groups, volunteering, or attending social events to meet new people and engage with the community. They can seek closure or comfort from so many other sources that life provides. And since we are social animals, such interventions can help a person feel at peace. For example, research in the "Journal of Happiness Studies" (Poulin et al., 2014) indicated that volunteering is associated with higher levels of well-being and increased social support. Moreover, the "Journal of Medical Internet Research" (Coulson, 2017) even highlighted the fact that online support communities have a huge impact on individuals and in them receiving social support.

All of these ways are well and good. The entire point of these possible methods of coping (healthy ones) is to make sure you have enough self-confidence to believe in yourself and help you go through tough times better. All these methods work well.....but sometimes you just really need your loved ones. Hope and expectations aren’t a bad thing, in fact, they can lift your spirits (and your standards). Sometimes, all you need is an understanding glance from the ones you love, or a hug that says “I see your pain, and I’m there for you”. 

There can also be an entirely different point of view to the whole situation. Suppose during an arduous time, you didn’t receive the love and support you needed from your person. What if that person was going through something themselves and just did not have the mental space to notice your pain when their own was drowning them. Or what if they were preoccupied with something else? Where we’re going with this is, that communication is crucial. Sometimes that might just be what was necessary, and yeah, it might backfire, but you never know until you try, right?

  

And now, since this is a discussion post after all, hypothetically speaking (or you can even speak from experience), if you were to find yourself in such a situation, what would you do to break free from your open struggle? And if you were ever told, or if you ever felt that you might not have supported your loved one who was going through a hard time, what would you have done differently?

REFERENCES

Poulin, Michael. (2013). Volunteering Predicts Health Among Those Who Value Others: Two National Studies. Health psychology : official journal of the Division of Health Psychology, American Psychological Association. 10.1037/a0031620. 

Morriss R, Kaylor-Hughes C, Rawsthorne M, Coulson N, Simpson S, Guo B, James M, Lathe J, Moran P, Tata L, Williams L

A Direct-to-Public Peer Support Program (Big White Wall) Versus Web-Based Information to Aid the Self-management of Depression and Anxiety: Results and Challenges of an Automated Randomized Controlled Trial

J Med Internet Res 2021;23(4):e23487

URL: https://www.jmir.org/2021/4/e23487

DOI: 10.2196/23487