Change.

Hello beautiful people! It's been a while, but fear not we're here now (honestly though its been such a long time that we might've kinda forgotten our password😅)

Change is a constant, or so we’re told, but for some of us, it feels more like a constant threat than a comforting truth.  Research in clinical psychology has shown that fear of change, also known as metathesiophobia, often connects with a lack of control or overwhelming past experiences (Taylor, 2019; APA, 2020). With this poem, we try to put into words the complex and sometimes invisible struggle that come with the fear of change. It’s not just about just being still but also trying to feel safe and knowing that you have your own place and pace in a world that demands you to keep moving.

I abhor movement
Movement means change
Every inch seems like an achievement
It's all just strange

I abhor movement like I abhor change
Scares the living lights out of me
Are we on the same page
It brings out a fear in me you can't see

Why do I hate moving
It means losing the safety I felt before
The movement feels disapproving
Just a roar in my head, a war and more

Every noise every pittter every patter
Scares me, scared I'll stop feeling safe
Reminds me of screaming, even a whisper
Putting me down.. its all unsafe

Change is okay, change is fine
Just go with the flow
This they tell me all the time
Is it though?

"You're just lazy"
"All day in bed, don't move"
All I've done before is hazy
But this you'll always disapprove

Do they ever approve of anything
Is it ever good enough
A smile a praise, something
Oh well I've caught you in your bluff

Rising wave of uneasiness
Every time there's a change
Brings me to my knees
It has a lot of free range

"Change is a part of life"
"You have to adjust"
Okay, why so much strife
How is this fear just

"Snap out of it" they say
I told you I can't!
"Just find a way"
I can't, not shan't

Did I explain it well
Did you understand
Why change is hell
Please don't misunderstand

Am I lazy?
I probably am
Am I just crazy?
You know, I probably am

I abhor movement
Like I abhor change
It's now translucent
The fear is onstage

What might look like laziness or resistance from the outside world may be in fact a protective instinct on the inside. Having psychological safety is a real and necessary foundation for change and without it, movement can feel like a threat instead of growth. If you or someone you know resonates with these feelings, you're not alone. A little bit of self-compassion, and  support can slowly help make movement feel less like chaos, and more like choice.
So the next time someone tells you you're lazy or to get on with the change, it's okay to be scared, it's up to you if you want to, it's your safe place

Until next time,

love, 

Renee and Deepti