Smile


I find myself these days
Struggling to smile
To not give that inch
That desperate mile
I find myself these days
Just needing to lay
Down and down and down
Not having any say 
Uncertain future
Full of turmoil
Do I stay or do I go
Everything's just a coil
I don't know what to do
With myself or my life
Resources I don't have
Desperately need a glue
All of this, everything
None of this is new
Feels like a cycle
Everything's askew
Don't ask me how I am
I'd tell you if I knew
Out bursts the dam
No sense of anything 
Feeling alone in a crowd
Left out in it all
Friends they surround
Can't get to me at all
Feels like I have nothing to talk about
Nothing to enjoy or to hope
Shrouded in doubt
Everything feels strange
Feels like acting 
The happiness the smile
Stranger playacting
Mile after mile after mile
Did I think about it
Momentarily I did
Did I enjoy the pit 
More than I can admit
Nothing seems to ease
These feelings of unease
I'm not sure if I want it to
simply just freeze
I find myself these days
Hoping it's a phase
Something in me tells me
You're lost in the maze
What do I do
I don't know
They say fake it till you make it
Everything's at a low
I don't remember how it was
Faking it for so long
Was it ever good
It just feels wrong
They say one door closes
Another one opens 
What if there's no door
Everything's just broken
I find myself these days
Hoping I'll escape the maze
Something in me tells me
Its just a matter of days
How much do I believe it
As much as my heart is able
Which might not be much
Just need to be stable
It's there in their smile
The hope I can't find
It's there in their words
Touch wood I'm not blind
I find myself these days
Just looking for a way out
Even if it's not a door
A window I can jump out


It took us a while to figure out how to describe this poem. It can be taken however you want to interpret it. If you relate to it, while it may feel that way, you're not alone. How we're looking at it is in a world that often feels overwhelming, it's easy to find ourselves struggling to maintain a smile, or feel like you're pretending, even when you're surrounded by friends. This poem speaks of those quiet battles with uncertainty and isolation and the weight of simply getting through each and every day.

Each line reflects the complexities of navigating life’s ups and downs. What we tried to pen down are our genuine feelings that sometimes everything might seem completely hopeless and lost, but you're not alone. Even if you feel like you're locked in a box, we're right there with you. If this resonates, know that so many of us are on similar paths, each of us lost in our own versions of the maze.

Together, we can hope for a possibility of brighter days ahead and on finding simple moments of joy, even if it feels impossible in the moment. It's alright if that hope doesn't feel genuine, it can be a hard thing to hold onto, especially in moments that feel unending. Just expressing the raw truth of where we are can be it's own form of strength, and sometimes, sharing it can be the closest we get to feeling seen and heard. One of my friends told me this, it's okay if you don't feel okay right now, what matters is that you're here, despite everything you're going through, you're here.

Taking time out for yourself is not selfish, you're just prioritizing yourself. However you are, wherever you are, please know you're not alone, there are others walking with you, every step of the way.🤍

Comments

  1. poorneesh5 November 2024 at 15:48

    damn i could relate to this so much!!!!!! i'm glad to know that its not only me who's goin through this right now and that it is normal to feel this way!!! a great pice of writing!!!!! i loved it!!!

    ReplyDelete

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