Open Struggle.

The following content may discuss or describe experiences related to panic attacks and anxiety. If you are sensitive to these topics or may find them distressing, we advise exercising caution while reading. Your mental well-being is our priority, and we encourage you to seek support if needed.

This is a written representation of a  “2 A.M, I can't sleep” panic. The account hasn't been edited much, only the explanation has.

The amount of times I have struggled, mentally screaming at the people supposed to care for me to do that. Out in the open when you cannot cannot stop the panic, the anguish, the depression from destroying the supposed image of the child, the sibling, the strong friend, I have.

The shaking sets in, the dread and the terror and the cold sweats follow. You try to control yourself, try to control the torrent, the flood to keep from drowning, but just like you cannot control the flow of the water, you cannot control this.

You try everything you've been taught, everything you have tried in the past, but darn it, it doesn't work.

The pain I'm feeling, the pain tearing through me, the pain I'm drowning in, excruciating. They notice it, they see it but unsee it. Seemingly try to help but really don't. All you get is a blank stare, a weird stare, or worse, nothing at all, no acknowledgement of your existence, much less the existence of your pain.

All you can do is hope to every holy thing out there that you get through just this instance, just this once, without completely breaking, without letting anyone know what you're going through, even though all you want is for them to just look up, truly look at you. If you're feeling hopeful, you might even want them to somehow understand what you're feeling and gather you up and un-break you. Even though they might be the ones who broke you in the first place.

You tell yourself the jokes you heard, the horrifically bad jokes your friends tell you to make your day better. You try to discretely hug yourself better, but then realize how stupid you might look and just look around and shrug it off.

Well, that was dark........😶

A mental health crisis is like being lost all alone, in a forest. You’re isolated and terrified, have nothing on you to survive, and have no idea of what to do. All you want is to give up. The support of your loved ones is what motivates you to carry on, to fight, because you know you’re not alone, they’re with you every step of the way. Even if you’re in a terrifying forest alone, with no sense of direction, having someone there is the inspiration for you to carry on. The survival kit, you know, the one with all the tools and the food and water bottle that’s super important, well, that comes from therapy. Therapy will give you all the tools you need to survive in the terror. Over time, with the unconditional love and support from your loved ones along with your handy survival kit, you might even start seeing the beauty in the forest, start appreciating the nuances of nature more. 

Okay, moving on from the forest analogy. What we’re trying to say is, if you don’t have support from the ones you love, it can be very disorienting and crippling and can worsen the situation. Your struggle of not being given the due importance and attention, can make you feel unheard, and ignored and can lead to feelings of worthlessness. Experiencing a persistent lack of support despite being surrounded by people can be an emotionally taxing and isolating ordeal.

Now we’re going to quote research studies at you to validate our point. Without this, everything we wrote are just random musings. 

The relation between social support and psychological well-being has been researched extensively for years now and it goes without saying why it is so. Around 33% of the world feels lonely and seeks to have a support system, be it their parents, siblings, peers or even teachers. It is excruciating to live in an environment where our mental health has not even been understood let alone being taken seriously. In fact, emotional neglect in the form of a lack of affection can lead to developmental delays, aggression, and other harmful outcomes in children (M.J. Lawler et al, 2012). Hence, studies such as those by Cohen, Underwood, and Gottlieb (2000) and Uchino (2004) have tried to explain how individuals with strong social support networks exhibit lower levels of psychological distress, anxiety, and depression. They’ve mentioned how social support not only acts as a buffer against the negative impact of stressors but also contributes to enhanced coping mechanisms and adaptive responses to life challenges (Miller et al., 2011). Acknowledging and trying to actively be a support system to whomever might just be a life-saving pill to the other person. 

REFERENCES

Cohen, S., Underwood, L. G., & Gottlieb, B. H. (Eds.). (2000). Social support measurement and intervention: A guide for health and social scientists. Oxford University Press.

Ferreira. (n.d.). girl in bed. Pinterest. https://pin.it/6WtDghX

Lawler M. J., Talbot E. B. (2012). Child abuse. In Ramachandran V. S. (Ed.), Encyclopedia of Human Behavior (2nd ed., pp. 460–466). Elsevier Inc.

 

Uchino, Bert Bowen, Kimberly Kent de Grey, Robert Mikel, Jude Fisher, Edwin 2018/10/08 341 372 978-0-387-93825-7 Social Support and Physical Health: Models, Mechanisms, and Opportunities: A Global Handbook 10.1007/978-0-387-93826-4_12. Principles and Concepts of Behavioral Medicine: A Global Handbook

Wilcox BL. Social support, life stress, and psychological adjustment: a test of the buffering hypothesis. Am J Community Psychol. 1981 Aug;9(4):371-86. doi: 10.1007/BF00918169. PMID: 7282647.

Wills, T. A., & Shinar, O. (2000). Measuring perceived and received social support. In S. Cohen, L. G. Underwood, & B. H. Gottlieb (Eds.), Social support measurement and intervention: A guide for health and social scientists (pp. 86–135). Oxford University Press.

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